• Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down Upchuck: Head of Brazil’s Assembly of God of the Latter Days Church justifies rape, claiming exorcism. http://aje.me/17MONpt
• Backdoor Upchuck: Hospitals merging with Catholic institutions can do what laws cannot and that is to prevent abortion. http://nyti.ms/11x9yGY
• Easily Led Upchuck: 54% of Protestant pastors support Young Earth Creationism (in a poll commissioned by Evangelicals http://bit.ly/11zdmr4
• God’s Divine Upchuck: Scaring young women through God, Pastor sez the new strain of gonorrhea aka, the “sex superbug” is divine punishment for sexual immorality. http://bit.ly/17qQPhr
• Tell Us Something New New Upchuck: A Chicago suburb community church volunteer is charged with sexual abuse. http://bit.ly/19yj8qI

Education

• Gideon’s Upchuck: Dispute over Bible distribution in Tennessee’s Hamilton County public schools. http://bit.ly/ZVQKOI
• Congressional Jesus Upchuck: House votes to cut $2.5B  in Food Stamps after biblical/Jesus debate. http://bit.ly/11N47DZ
• Drown ‘Em In the Bathtub Upchuck: Mike Pence puts Common Core, seen as “government propaganda” by Christian crazies, on hold. In Indiana.  http://bit.ly/14hHeF3

Federal Government

• 1^st Amendment Upchuck: “Jesus is calling our country.” Great summary of the National Day of Prayer.  http://bit.ly/106VM7j

Elections

• Gubernatorial Upchuck: Ken Cuccinelli supports LGBT discrimination, attacks climate science, was called “the most overtly partisan attorney general in Virginia’s history” by WAPO, and . . . thinks Justice Antonin Scalia is too liberal, is running to be governor of Virginia. http://bit.ly/WNuVM0

Military

• Family-Friendly Upchuck: Family Research Council continues its scare tactics to fundraise on the back of Mikey Weinstein. http://bit.ly/165Dewd
• Government Paid Missionary Upchuck: Designed to win and train the military for Jesus Christ. http://bit.ly/OOhGdX
• Spin Me ‘Round Upchuck: 59 Congress members demand Hagel answer to Breitbart.com’s version of black is white. http://bit.ly/19jgRQ7
• Out of Control Upchuck: The moment Lawrence Wilkerson speaks authoritatively about the dangerous religious situation in the military, Tony Perkins comes out with this vomit. http://bit.ly/18JbJXZ
• Me Fears MRRF Has Something Upchuck? Tony Perkins’s FRC takes the time to list Mikey Weinstein’s accomplishments, According to Perkins, we are indeed in a holy war. http://bit.ly/10Yo17s
• Persecution Complex Upchuck: John Fleming (R-LA) calls Mikey Weinstein an anti-Christian extremist on the floor of the U.S. House. http://www.c-spanvideo.org/clip/4451421

Politics

• Nut-Job Upchuck: Steve Stockman (R-TX) sez “Democrats worship abortion with same fervor the Canaanites worshipped Molech.” http://huff.to/19nJStT
• Voices In Her Head Upchuck: Campaign posters for mayoral candidate Anna Pierre tout that her bid in North Miami is endorsed by Jesus Christ. http://bit.ly/13vmWcu

States

• Wrong Again Upchuck: Tennessee sheriff defends Ten Commandments display in jail lobby calling it a   document “that all laws are derived from in this country. http://bit.ly/14g5PdC
• Try Till it Sticks Upchuck: Ohio House Republicans attach language revision to budget to defund Planned Parenthood. http://bit.ly/15tdvfY
• Pandering Upchuck: New Jersey’s Chris Christie wants to fund religious education at the college level. http://bit.ly/YwcZtr
• Christmas Wars Upchuck: Here it is May and the crazies are feeding the troops with early Xmas persecution. http://bit.ly/YFh0vE
• Coat Hanger Upchuck: Denying poor women safe abortion and effective birth control. http://bit.ly/12jVzPV
• Texas-Style Family Planning Upchuck: Perry takes away family planning funding and gives the money to crisis pregnancy centers. http://bit.ly/12jVzPV

See it here.

• A Day in the Life of the Family Values Gang Upchuck: Ohio youth pastor accused of sex with teen
 in church-owned house. ow.ly/kEGMK
• Seditious Upchuck: Right wing propaganda machine incites an ignorant public. ow.ly/kIhxK
• Taliban-like Upchuck: Houston mega-pastor teaches his manly men how to get the most out of their biblically obedient women. ow.ly/kIhD8

Education

• Taliban-like Upchuckable Redux: Women, we’ll teach you who’s boss. http://bit.ly/147Q34j
• Dominionism Meets Corporatism Meets ALEC Upchuck: Yikes. This is big . . . this is scary. Read please. http://bit.ly/15wFJaT
• Education Is Highly Overrated Upchuck: T-Rex Ted (Cruz) Sets His Sites on education. http://bit.ly/16zBcDK
• Banish the Beast Upchuck: Soldiers to the barricades! Homeschool thine young! http://bit.ly/11k3QrP
• Koch, Not Pepsi, Upchuck: The most dangerous stealth gazillionaires you never heard of. http://bit.ly/115Ulwg
• Quiver-filled Upchuck: Filleth thine arrow with a passel of empty minds to program. http://bit.ly/11k3QrP
• Trumped –Up Upchuck: Call us persecuted and the masses rise up. http://bit.ly/143FyyX
• Teens Against Themselves Upchuck: Students spread the word about health services they may one day need. http://bit.ly/12ssQsD
• Drown Em in the Bathtub Upchuck: The stealth war agin’ public ed. http://bit.ly/15wFJaT
• Chastity Upchuck: Them Liberals are coming for our girls! http://bit.ly/19cCzW2
• Flintstones Upchuck: Kentucky’s Creation “Museum:” training future generations for idiocy. http://bit.ly/18Tob4V

 Environment 

• Cry Me a River Upchuck:  Paleontologists brought to tears at Creation Museum. http://bit.ly/QI3v2
• What They Really Think Upchuck: Let the last tree die. Fundies don’t give a whit for the air they breathe. Jesus Saves! ow.ly/kMNb6

Hagee

• Good News Upchuck: Hagee Center teaches intelligence, not “theory.” http://bit.ly/11n6FIM
• Son of Upchuck: Donning Papa’s plus size robe, Matthew Hagee avers that Jason Collins Is ‘Sadly Deceived and Desperately Confused’ Maybe Ted Haggard could help? http://bit.ly/13iqqz5

Islamaphobia

• Klan-like Upchuck: Greeting card turns “Muslim” doll into a “Terrorist.” http://bit.ly/Ytz2mF
• The Tie That Binds Upchuck: Islamophobia is one of the few things left to unify the GOP. http://bit.ly/11pKRMv

Military

• Lie It Often, Lie It Loud Upchuck:  Bad-boy Mikey’s a-tryin’ to criminalize religion in the trenches. http://bit.ly/16IjiPt
• Christian Nation Upchuck: Yadda, yadda. http://bit.ly/15Qfig9
• 1984 Upchuck: Orwell couldn’t do name ‘em better himself. http://bit.ly/17lfi7M
• Sue You Upchuck: But who’ll be on the jury? http://bit.ly/15nqOzI
• Ix-nay On the Esus-Jay Upchuck: Southern Baptists join in. http://bit.ly/10miFIw
• Saints Alive Upchuck: Catholics Join the Dissembling: http://bit.ly/1779Zsj
• Tale As Old As TIme Upchuck: It’s always the Jews. http://bit.ly/16U4WLL
• 1^st Amendment Upchuck: Damn the Constitution but these men need Jesus. http://bit.ly/1477z8K
• Colin Powell’s Chief of Staff Delivers Upchuck: Speaking truth to power. http://bit.ly/ZNunaD

Politics

• God Luvs Guns Upchuck: Santorum loves him some NRA. http://bit.ly/18iLO9o
• Jeezus Saves Upchuck: As one of Jesus’ legitimate “Chosen,” Mark Sanford is risen. http://bit.ly/190kmuI
• Prime(ary)-Time Upchuck: The National Organization for Marriage declares it’s a no-go for Portman in ’16. http://bit.ly/10GB2lR

Same Sex Marriage

• Sodom Meets Gomorrah Upchuck: Homosexual activists go after the “low hanging fruit,” no pun on their part intended. http://bit.ly/16nPPdE

 States

• Ten-Gallon Upchuck: BSA Texas Council votes to continue ban on gay members. Rick-the-Perry stands with them. http://bit.ly/10GB2lR
• Sis-Boom Upchuck: Texas court cheer sfor Jesus. http://lat.ms/190xOii
• Jindal’s Costly Upchuck: Piyush (Bobby) defends anti-evolution education even though it’s costing the state millions. http://bit.ly/ZmgSOP
• Carolina Upchuck: N.C. Senate’s no-good, very bad bill. http://bit.ly/134yHmu

Just-for-Fun Upchuck

• Gay for Jesus Upchuck: Jason Collins ain’t no Christian. http://bit.ly/163yfLM
• Dragons for Jesus Upchuck: A laugh from the always-upchuckable Creation Museum. http://bit.ly/YDENfy

Introducing: Upchuckable Antidotes

• Honorable Antidote: Mikey. They like him! http://bit.ly/170OTfi
• Constitutional Defender Antidote: Mikey. She likes him! http://bit.ly/13QtOQq
• Jesus Banned from Schoolyard Upchuck: Louisiana Supreme Court strikes down school voucher funding. http://bit.ly/YFNbgE
• Coming Soon To Your State Antidote: 11th state affirms gay rights are civil rights. http://bit.ly/13iXhDO
• Pomp and Jesus Antidote: Georgia sez no religious tunes at graduations. http://bit.ly/13iXhDO

Tale As Old As Time: Despite their love of Zion, christian right default is blame the Jews. Here’s the link.

Head of Texas Education Board Committee wants to teach ‘roles of men and women in a traditional way’. Get your upchuck on at the TFN Insider post.

There is some good news, though! Louisiana Supreme Court strikes down state’s school voucher system. Read about it over here.

With the 2012 election a dim memory and it’s crazy-making religion soaked primaries even dimmer, you’d be well advised to keep an eye on the states because that’s where it’s happening when it comes to Christian Crazies. For a brief sampling, take a read:

Here

• Proving there’s still a little ‘Year of the Bible’ in all of us, last month the Pennsylvania House of Representatives declared the fast-approaching April 30 as “National Fast Day.” http://bit.ly/108RbBq

There

• North Dakota Personhood Amendment Heads To Ballot http://bit.ly/157x8ed

& Everywhere

• Conservatives target political funding, investing where it gets the biggest political bang: in statehouses. Take a look here to learn about state funding efforts : http://bit.ly/17BbL2Ls

The “State” of Education

• A Central Mississippi high school allegedly forced students to watch a Christian video and listen to church officials preach about Jesus Christ. http://bit.ly/11WzIMN
• In Tennessee: The Blue Ridge Christian Academy Gave Fourth Graders the Creationism Test Heard Around the Internet. http://bit.ly/158eumJ
• In New York, the Godly wonder: Can the Bible Save Minority Students From NYC’s Failing Public Education System? http://bit.ly/12tlgyG
• HB 1017, which sailed through the Arkansas House of Representatives, would require the state board of education to approve public school courses that teach the Bible. Similar measures were introduced in North Carolina and Wyoming. http://bit.ly/18sAMfa
• Virginia politicians tried a different tactic: a state constitutional amendment mandating that citizens as well as elected officials and state employees have the right to pray on government premises and public property. http://bit.ly/18sAMfa
• Pennsylvania must have some pretty dumb pencils because: 20 percent of its high school science teachers say they believe in creationism. Zowie.Zounds. Egad. http://bit.ly/166pZdL
• Mississippi, (Yet again. – do I detect a pattern – er, a takeover?) opens the door to student-led prayer. The state makes schools develop policies giving opportunity to pray/preach at official school events. http://bit.ly/18sAMfa
• In the hang-loose, shake your bootie state of Hawaii; Governor Neil Abercrombie (alas, he’s a Dem) proposed amending the state constitution to allow for public funding of religious pre-schools. http://bit.ly/108Smkv
• Alaska legislators have proposed amending the state constitution to allow for tax aid to religious schools. http://bit.ly/108Smkv
• Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott ruled that school districts and cities are in violation of the State Constitution for offering health insurance benefits to the domestic partners of their employees.. http://bit.ly/16qIs51
• A new Alabama tax-credit law that subsidizes tuition at private schools will likely end up helping academies founded to get around racial desegregation of public schools. http://bit.ly/108Smkv
• Down in the bayou, a Louisiana voucher plan subsidizes religion: http://bit.ly/108Smkv

Speaking of Louisiana, Here’s an Extra Bit of Educational Lagniappe

• Despite a half century Of Supreme Court Rulings, states still look for ways to sneak prayer Into Public Schools. http://bit.ly/18sAMfa
• The eight most conservative senators join fight against common core education standards. http://bit.ly/12Jg9up

It’s on to the 2014 Election Upchuckables aka, How To Insure Religion Remains On the Ballot

• The American Renewal Project, whatever the frick that means, plans to target twelve key swing states in the mid-terms. Reminiscent of Ohio’s ’06 dance with the “Patriot Pastors,” they plan to organize pastor briefings and voter registration drives in an attempt to restore the U. S. to its Judeo-Christian roots. http://yhoo.it/YwDsGE
• Mat Staver’s Liberty Counsel, an affiliate of Jerry Falwell  Liberty University, announced that it is gearing up to mobilize pastors who share the belief “that America was established as a Christian nation, and the guardians of those Biblical principles has always been His church.” http://bit.ly/17BcYal

Military Issues Provide for Deadly Serious Upchucks (thanks goes to Mikey Weinstein and his Military Religious Freedom Foundation)

The Secularists Are Coming! The Secularists Are Coming!

• Could it be that the world really is coming to an end? In something of a shocker, the Pentagon confirmed that Christian evangelism is against regulations. The shocker is that Fox reported it! http://bit.ly/ZkxOoX
• The Gray Lady’s Sally Quinn penned a piece slamming the military’s blind eye when it comes to serious-as-a–heart-attack proselytization within the military: “What must stop is the concept that America needs to conquer the world for Christ.” http://bit.ly/YhFrPF
• To which the zealots saw red: Over at Breitbart.com, Ken Klukowski, called Weinstein an Anti-Christian Extremist. http://bit.ly/ZufM7b
• And lunatics see monsters (read,anti-conservative, liberal-activist-Jews) under every bed in: Pentagon Hires Anti-Conservative Activist Who Branded Fundamentalists as ‘Christian Monsters’. http://bit.ly/12vZYhA
• Daily Kos takes notice, hardly for the first time: Religious indoctrination in the military is now a serious issue http://bit.ly/13Ezahs
• Baby-Face Tony Perkins loses it: Military Loses Site of Faith. http://bit.ly/15Z2J17
• And Townhall joins the party: This Is What Intolerance Smells Like. http://bit.ly/13Rzrhb

Upchuck, Upchuck Everybody Upchuck for Shirley Dobson’s Dominionist National Day of Prayer (NDP)

• A recent catch-up on the NDP:

A week after President Obama won re-election, James Dobson admitted that his wife Shirley used the National Day of Prayer Task Force to actively pray for Obama’s defeat. Yet Ms. Dobson had the nerve to complain that Obama wasn’t planning to attend .

She added that the Obama administration is leading an “attack” on religious freedom and does not give Christians a seat at the table.  http://bit.ly/12KUuTB

• Homophobic pastor, Greg Laurie, was selected to lead the nation in prayer at the Cannon House Office Building  (as well as at a prayer breakfast at – - drumroll – -the Pentagon!) on May 2. Protests from gay activists fell on deaf ears.! The Inaugural Committee might have weenied out (no pun intended) when it dropped homophobe Louis Giglio, from the inauguration roster but the NDP Task Force doesn’t play by heretical rules. http://bit.ly/12bHO4k
• Thus, on every first Thursday in May, this faithful Upchucker is in high dudgeon over the fact that the U.S. government has anything at all to do with this Dobson-led Dominionist event. But hey, I’ll keep on looking for that church/state boundary . . .

A Couple of Hagee Hurls

Another week in the bloated ego of John Hagee, Christian Zionism’s Prophet of Doom

• This week Pastor Hagee told us that Islamists and the Liberal Left (spawns of the Devil) hate America and Israel.
• Because he knows so much about other religions and is the authority on Radical Islam – as opposed to Radical Christianity– he declared that Muslims want a caliphate so as to regulate everything and everyone in the whole world, according to Shariah law. This windbag further dissembled when he told viewers that Muslims and the Liberal Left want to tell the world what to eat, drink, drive, say and think. http://bit.ly/10dyr2p

Miscellaneous Upchucks

• Pre-historic Upchuck: Charles Pierce posits that Ken Ham’s Kentucky Creation Museum is more honest in its crackpot interpretation of history than is the new Bush Library. http://bit.ly/17kwp6Y
• Suck-up Upchuck: Jerusalem to Name Street for billionaire right-wing donor Sheldon Adelson http://bit.ly/1840rud
• Politically Incorrect Hurl: Cardinal Timothy Dolan hired conservative activist & Palin advisor, Kim Daniels, as a spokeswoman. http://yhoo.it/11zlBOE
• Goad-Me-Some-Christians Upchuck: The Christian Post reports that more than half of evangelicals view Islam as a violent religion http://bit.ly/182KRz7
• Holier-than-Thou Upchuck: Evangelicals Are More ‘Christ-like’ Than Other Christians. http://bit.ly/165l2Ci
• Dominionist Upchuck: Liberty Counsel says God’s first commission goes back to Genesis 1:28, telling us we must subdue and have dominion over all the earth. http://bit.ly/ZQ4sBL
• Not-That-Anyone-Cares-What-Pat Robertson-Says Upchuck: “It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-biased media, and the homosexuals who want to destroy all Christians,” http://thebea.st/YXC2mn

Last of All: An Upchuck To Chill the Soul

Hate group, Operation Rescue released the name of the second doctor courageous enough to travel to Wichita to fill in for the murdered Dr. George Tiller, skating dangerously close to what looks an awful lot like incitement. Just sayin’. http://bit.ly/10Mj7Bv

“Radical Islamsists wants a caliphate to regulate every aspect of our lives based on Islamic law,” said Hagee, while “the Left wants to tell us what to eat, what to drink, what to drive, what to say, and what to think.”

Hagee also added that both liberals and Muslims hate Israel, just for good measure.

Read it here.

Read more here.

Read about it here.

Read all about it here.